It's like I'm going to implode

May 2026. Alina* tells me: “My natural response when I feel overwhelmed is to just shut down and sleep. Or scroll.”

June 2026. Libby says: “I feel that every which way I turn, it's like I'm stepping in lava. It's all flowing, but now it's flowing in a much smaller space — the walls have closed in on me from a lot of different ways. I get this sensation. It's like I'm going to implode.”

Anyone else feel like this here world is too much?

Like maybe having everything at our fingertips and always striving for more is more trouble than it’s worth?

Is it past time we took the over out of the overwhelm? Can we just be whelmed for a while?

I’d settle for whelmed.

Here is the thing. If the urgency is around productivity, it's just going to keep on being urgent. Productive is a verb. It’s a doing word. It keeps wanting you to be doing. Not resting. 

Not only that, but it’s continuous — you don't get to check off 'I've been productive' and then relax. You have to keep being productive. Day in and day out.

When you’re in a state of panic, it's easy to tell yourself, 'I'm overwhelmed about everything, so just shut up and do the work.' 

But, what if you stopped and asked instead: what am I really anxious about? What is the biggest cause of this? 

Sometimes the answer is obvious. Sometimes everything is equally loud, and you have to pick the one to start with. Start there. Nothing else. Then do it again with the next one.

Do you need to update the beneficiaries on your insurance plan? Yes. This week? No. Do the kids need new shoes? Yes. Will they go barefoot if it’s not this month? No. The client report, the after-school club, getting the house ready to sell, renegotiating your contract, finding a new job: yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. None of them today. 

And while you are at it, let the shame go for a little bit too. It tends to build up when you aren’t checking every box on the to do list (so like, always). But it’s not helping. If you miss feeling shameful about everything you aren’t doing, you can always invite it back later, but for now, let it go. 

As I told Libby, “You're so dedicated to every person and thing around you. And you want to do so much. But since doing all the things isn’t actually possible, you revert to control — telling yourself that if you just hold on tight enough, you can make all the pieces work.”

That’s the story that has to change. Your to-do list will never be done. If we’re waiting for the end of the list to end the overwhelm, the overwhelm will never be done either. 

If there is a disconnect between the number of things on your to-do list and the number of hours you have to do them, that’s not your fault. If math doesn’t math, there's nothing you can do to get so organized that it will give you more time. You can put as many AI assistants, calendars, and organizational tools in place as you want, but the equation will still not add up.

I’m going to say it again because it deserves repeating: this is not a personal failing. It's not that you're not trying hard enough — that if you only put in more effort and organized yourself a little more, you’d have it all figured out. It is an impossible equation. It actually just does not work.

But there are some things that do work. Here’s one.

We’re going to break it down into two stages. 

First stage:

Decide that this is the moment that things are going to change. What that change looks like and how radical it is is up to you. Is it a serious talk with your partner about stepping up more around the house? Is it quitting your job before it kills you? Getting your mom to do school pick-ups? Is it hiring a housekeeper? An assistant? 

Second stage: 

Use an Eisenhower Matrix — a tool that sounds more outdated and complex than it actually is. You don’t have to know nor appreciate the tool to use it. It comes down to four moves — do, schedule, delegate, and delete — and you’ve already done one of them above (the yes, but not today list). Delete and delegate are the two that loosen your grip. Here’s what you do:

Do one thing. Just one. Whether that leads to another is not for you to think about right now. Pick one thing and do it.

Calendar one thing. Not for today. Not for tomorrow. Pick something that you know needs to be done, but not now. Calendar it for next month, next quarter, or next year. If you find another or many other things that also want to get pushed off, more power to ya.

Delete one thing. Go ahead, take one thing off your list. One thing you will never get to at this phase in your life and let yourself off the hook for achieving it. If you delete another one or another ten is just an optional bonus.

Delegate one thing. Give it to your partner, kid, housekeeper, sibling, parent, handyman, accountant. One thing that is no longer yours to hold. Maybe that turns into two things. Maybe one thing for everyone in your life. It doesn’t matter. Start with one.

That’s it. Tell me how it goes.

*as always, all names have been changed